“Never make a permanent decision in a temporary circumstance.”
This quote has been a favorite of mine for quite some time. Often times when making decisions, we forget wise words like “this too shall pass.” This is especially true when we find ourselves in an upsetting circumstance that was fully outside of our control or when we find ourselves in a depressing situation that we caused or allowed to take place.
In either case, a human reaction when in emotional pain is to stop the hurt as quickly as possible, even if the decision being made is detrimental or leaves a permanent emotional scar.
This month’s Mind Over A Matter tip deals with how to empower yourself mentally to avoid making a permanent decision in a temporary circumstance.
The key is to “think beyond the hurt.” Instead of reflecting on how “unpleasant” this matter is, center your attention on a specified period of time when this matter will “end” or not be your primary focus. Determine a time (30, 60 or 90 minutes) when you are willing to mentally separate from the unpleasant matter and focus on something else. This must be verbally announced, psychologically declared and physically written down in order to be successfully implemented.
These steps will help you to mentally “resolve a matter.” To think beyond the hurt is to consciously transition the mind ― for a specified period of time ― away from the emotional pain or uncontrollable circumstance. This doesn’t mean that you act as if the emotional pain doesn’t exist; on the contrary, you are fully aware of its existence, because the “painful feelings” in most cases are still present.
However, in the midst of your painful feelings, you are choosing to take control mentally and navigate your thoughts away from the matter that is the source of your presenting pain or painful experience. To learn more about how to initiate Mind Over A Matter Thinking, contact Dr. Rick Adams at MindWay International, LLC, (407) 470-2195.
Dr. Adams is a licensed psychotherapist, certified clinician and college professor. For more than 22 years, he has worked in the counseling field, in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and marriage and family.